There’s nothing like the feeling you get when you start dreaming about the life you truly want—positive emotions rise, goosebumps form, and the tiny hairs on your arms tingle with excitement. You can almost see it—the image of yourself living with purpose, feeling fulfilled, and thriving.
But then, the party pooper shows up—negative thoughts.
Instead of focusing on all the reasons why you can achieve your dream, your mind begins lining up questions for your new life, leaning on its favorite line of questioning, and what I call The How Monster:
How are you going to make this happen—it’s impossible!
How will you do this without (X, Y, and Z)?
How are you going to make it work when you’ve failed before?
How are you supposed to do this if you’re not even qualified?
Negative thoughts, which stem from a negative perspective and subconscious mind (often shaped by consistent negative thinking, past trauma, or fueled by stressful times), quickly take over any new conscious ideas that support a brighter future.
These thoughts thrive on doubt, especially when it comes to turning our dreams into reality. And this, my friend, is the very reason most of us don’t even try.
But even when we do muster the courage to pursue our dreams, those negative thoughts don’t just disappear—they evolve, finding new opportunities to creep in and challenge us.
That’s exactly what happened to me.
Just last week, when my publisher, BenBella Books, announced that Brilliance Publishing—a division of Amazon Publishing dedicated to giving storytellers an incredible voice—would be producing the audiobook for my upcoming book.
While this was exciting news, it also came with three major obstacles that gave the How Monster plenty of fuel:
1. I had to audition to be the narrator.
I know—it’s wild to think authors have to audition to read their own books! But from a business standpoint, it makes sense. The publishing company wants to ensure the narrator can engage the audience and deliver an exceptional experience for everyone who buys the audiobook.
The How Monster wasted no time: How are you going to get the job, Nate? I mean, c’mon, there are professionals who do this for a living—you’ve got no chance, bra.
2. I’m dyslexic.
My eyes—and brain—tend to play tricks on me when I read. I’ll read sentences backward, skip lines, or guess at words based on how they look or fit into the context. This guessing game often leads to mistakes, especially with unfamiliar words.
Here came the How Monster again: How can you possibly read your entire book without messing up, Nate? You're dyslexic—how are you even going to get through this?
3. I have a strong Jersey/New York accent.
For example, instead of saying “eggs,” I’ll say “ehggs.” “Water” becomes “wada,” and “better” turns into “beddah.” I didn’t realize this was an issue until I went to college and started traveling—people would laugh whenever I said words like that!
And, of course, the How Monster chimed in louder than ever: So, ah, Nate, are you listening to me? How are you going to fix this slang way of speaking that you call your accent?
The What
Whenever the How Monster comes knocking, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and stuck. But I’ve found that the best way to fight back is to shift my focus from the impossible “How?” to the actionable “What?”
What can I control right now?
What simple step can I take today?
What tools or resources are already within my reach?
With these questions in mind, I grabbed my journal and started brainstorming everything I could do to prepare for the audition.
The key wasn’t to figure everything out at once but to take one step at a time. I created a plan, or as I like to call it, a Blueprint, and got straight to work.
Here’s what I did:
I started taking singing lessons to strengthen my diaphragmatic breathing and improve my breath control. I knew this would help me sustain my voice during long recording sessions.
I worked with a speech therapist and used tools like a bite block to refine my articulation, control my tongue placement, and adjust my breathing patterns while speaking.
I added sprints and running to my workout routine to build lung capacity and improve cardiovascular endurance. Recording for hours is physically demanding, so I wanted to ensure my body could handle it.
When it came time for the audition, I thought strategically and asked myself:
“What chapter would showcase my strengths in a way no one else could match?”
I chose a chapter that began with a deep, personal, emotional story—a story where I could bring raw, authentic emotion into every word. I wanted to make it clear that this book wasn’t just something I wrote—it was something I lived.
It worked. Within a week, my agent emailed me with the exciting news: “You got the gig, Nate!”
My audio publisher, Brilliance, wanted me to start recording the audiobook right away. At first, I assumed this meant sometime next month. But I quickly learned they wanted it completed within a week.
I had spent a month preparing for a five-minute audition. Now, I had just 72 hours to gear up for recording five hours daily. And with that ticking clock, guess who showed up again?
“Hey, big guy, I’m back. I know you missed me. Quick question for ya: How are you going to pull this one off? You know flipping that What question on me isn’t strong enough to get rid of me.”
The How Monster was back, louder and bolder than ever. But this time, I had no time to entertain it.
It was a snowy Monday in the New York City area when I walked into Sound on Sound Studios, where Brilliance had arranged for me to record.
As I stepped inside, inspiration hit me from every direction. The walls were lined with framed records and photos of legendary artists—some of my all-time favorite rappers had created their magic here.
Suddenly, the weight of what I was about to do became even more real.
“What's up, Nate? Welcome,” Tony, the studio manager, greeted me with a warm smile.
“What's up, Tony. Wow, I see some great artists have worked here, huh?” I replied, letting my eyes wander over the walls.
Tony grinned. “Yes,” he said confidently, “only the greats come to Sound on Sound Studios.”
His words stopped me in my tracks. They hit like a double-edged sword—part confirmation, part self-doubt. The weight of this opportunity suddenly felt heavier, yet it also reminded me why I was here.
Tony introduced me to David, the owner of the studio.
“Hey Nate, this is David. He’ll be engineering your audiobook,” Tony said, pointing at him.
As I walked over to shake David’s hand, my eyes caught the glint of his multiple Grammy awards displayed behind him.
Jesus, I better show up, I thought, feeling both inspired and slightly intimidated.
“Nice to meet you, Nate,” David said with an easy smile. “Let me show you to the studio and walk you through how this process works.”
As we strolled through the halls, my pace slowed when a plaque outside the recording booth caught my attention. It read: J.Cole – 2014 Forest Hills Drive.
“Ah, David,” I said, coming to a stop. “J. Cole recorded here?”
David grinned. “Yes, he did. Great guy. We really enjoyed working with him.” He chuckled as he pushed open the massive, 500-pound soundproof door.
After David walked me through the process we’d follow over the next week, Patrick—the director from Brilliance Publishing—joined the session, connecting to my headphones via Zoom, and said,
“All right, Nate, let’s start. We’re ready whenever YOU are.”
I took a deep breath, adjusted my posture, and read the first page.
Within seconds, I started stuttering, mispronouncing words, and losing my place.
My eyes jumped between sentences, struggling to stay focused on the words in front of me. What should have taken 2–4 minutes to read stretched painfully into an hour.
The publisher had scheduled three days to complete the audiobook, meaning I needed to record four chapters daily to stay on track.
But by the end of day one, I had only completed two chapters.
Embarrassment and frustration hit me like a tidal wave. I could feel the weight of failure settling in, and honestly… I wanted to cry.
I left the booth, avoiding eye contact with David and Tony. As I grabbed my things and headed toward the door, Tony said,
“See YOU tomorrow, Nate.”
I forced a slight nod, unable to muster a response, and left the studio without saying much. And, of course, the How Monster ambushed me the moment I got behind the wheel.
How are you going to pull this off, Nate? You couldn’t even finish half of what you were supposed to do today. How do you expect to complete the entire book in just two more days? How are YOU going to face them tomorrow?
As I drove home in silence, the questions buzzed in my head like an endless, relentless echo. I gripped the steering wheel tightly, feeling the weight of the day pressing down on me.
The Who…
I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t have thoughts of quitting. After leaving the studio that night, I sat in my office for over an hour, drafting an email to my agent. The words poured out:
I don’t think I can pull this off. I’m sorry. I don’t want to let YOU or the team down, but this just isn’t working.
I hovered over the send button, staring at the screen, second-guessing everything.
Then, out of the blue, my dad FaceTimed me.
“Pah, what’s wrong?” he asked, immediately picking up on my energy.
I sighed and told him everything:
How I had stumbled over my words
How I felt humiliated
How I was thinking about giving up on narrating my book.
“Pah, there’s no way in hell you’re going to let one bad day stop YOU from narrating your book. What makes you think you can’t achieve this dream, especially after all you’ve overcome and accomplished in your life?”
His voice grew firm, cutting through my doubt.
“If there’s one thing I know about you, Pah, it’s that YOU are not a quitter. And that’s not who I raised.”
Hearing those words from him hit me like a wake-up call. I had to remind myself who I am—a One Percenter.
One who breaks through generational poverty and trauma, who defeats the odds that keep 99 percent of my peers trapped in their cycles.
Quitting wasn’t an option. It was my duty to get back to practicing, finding ways to improve, and do what seemed impossible—complete the audiobook.
Determined, I began researching tools that could help me overcome my challenges with dyslexia. That’s when I discovered OpenDyslexic, a font designed specifically for people like me. I converted my book into this font, turned on my microphone, and started practicing again.
The next day, I returned to the studio with a rejuvenated mindset and confidence.
As I greeted Tony, I told him with a grin:
“Make sure to save some room on these walls because there’s going to be a The You You Never Knew plaque hanging here soon.”
From that day forward, I improved. I read more pages each session than the day before, consistently surpassing my previous progress. After every studio session, I returned home to my home studio recording setup in my office and practiced the chapters I would record the following day.
Step by step, page by page, I refused to let the How Monster win. The impossible was slowly becoming possible.
The Why
After completing the audiobook on day six, my director, Patrick, asked me,
“Nate, what the hell did you do to improve so much since day one?” Patrick asked, his voice buzzing through my headphones with genuine curiosity.
I smiled, leaning toward the microphone, and replied, “I practiced every day after our recording sessions.”
“How, dude? Weren’t you tired? I mean, I know there were days when you woke up at 4:30 a.m. to coach your client in the city, then came here to record for five hours straight without even taking a lunch break. I get that this is a huge opportunity for YOU, but how did you find the energy to practice for hours after all that?”
I paused, reflecting on his question.
After a deep breath, I said, “Patrick, have you ever heard of the man who did what was once considered impossible—running a four-minute mile?”
Patrick’s voice lit up with excitement in my headphones.
“Yes! Roger Bannister! What a stud!” he exclaimed.
“Well, did you know that after Bannister broke the record, three runners managed to run a four-minute mile the following year? And as of 2022, over 1,755 athletes have broken that four-minute barrier,” I explained.
Patrick fell silent for a moment, the pause filling the space between us. Finally, his voice came through, carrying a tone of thoughtfulness.
“Yeah... I get what you’re saying.”
I leaned closer to the microphone, as if trying to close the gap between us, and continued, letting my words settle into the quiet..
“Just like Bannister opened the door for others to break the four-minute barrier, imagine how many people out there—people like me—are struggling with learning disabilities, tough upbringings, and feeling that writing a book, landing a book deal, or narrating their own audiobook is impossible.
Don’t get me wrong—I get tired, frustrated, and impatient.
But when I think about those people—my people—and the next generation, I realize this isn’t about me. My struggles aren’t just mine; they’re a blueprint for others to follow.
Imagine how many of them will now believe they can become authors, narrators, and creators because they saw someone like them do it.
That’s why I can’t let negative thoughts or emotions interfere with my purpose—my Why—because it’s bigger than me, Patrick.”
Patrick laughed with amazement.
“Wow! I got goosebumps! Dude, where do they make people like you?!"
“In the ghetto!” I replied with a smirk.
For a moment, we both sat in silence, letting the weight of the conversation settle in. Then we laughed again, the seriousness giving way to a lighter moment, though the truth still lingered in the air.
Crush the How Monster: Focus on the What, Who, and Why
Whenever the How Monster shows up, don’t let it overwhelm you or paralyze your dreams. Instead, take a step back and shift your focus to these three powerful tools:
1. The What
What is in your control right now?
What small, actionable steps can you take to move forward, even if they seem insignificant?
Break down the overwhelming "how" into manageable "whats," and focus on one step at a time. Progress comes from small, consistent actions.
2. The Who
Remind yourself of who you are. Reflect on everything you’ve already accomplished that once felt impossible. That same person—strong, courageous, and resilient, a true One Percenter—is still within YOU. You’ve beaten the odds before, and you can do it again. Instead of identifying with the part of you that feels incapable, reconnect with the part of you that’s overcome so much already.
Then, ask yourself: Who can you lean on for guidance, support, or encouragement? Who has faced similar challenges, and what can you learn from their journey? Seek out those who inspire you and let their experiences remind you that you’re not alone.
Think about what you’ve already achieved despite the challenges. You’ve proven to yourself and the world that you can rise above anything.
3. The Why
Why does this goal matter to YOU?
Why are you willing to push past obstacles and discomfort to make it happen?
Your "why" should light a fire in your heart, a meaningful purpose that silences the doubts. When the "how" tries to take over, your "why" will keep you focused and grounded.
By focusing on the What, Who, and Why, you can silence the "how" and keep moving toward your dreams—one step, connection, and purpose-driven action at a time.
Pre-Order The You You Never Knew Book and Audiobook Today!
If today’s story inspired you, I’m excited to share that The You You Never Knew audiobook is now available for pre-order! Not only do I share deep personal stories, but I also provide practical tools and strategies to help you heal, grow, and transform your life.
Click here to pre-order your copy today and take the first step toward becoming the YOU You Never Knew.
Wonderful post Nate. It felt like you were writing it just for me. You blessed me with sharing your struggles and I pray that God blesses you many times over. I can’t wait to hear the audiobook!
Ok this got really emotional for me I’ll tell you why it is the universe that in this moment where I was doubting my strength as I have also overcame some childhood trauma the sub app popped up on my phone and there he was my favorite person Nate. I read this entire thread and was once again reminded why you are call great thank you for being you my friend I’m already waiting to receive your book in march as I have already pre ordered it. Long story short you popped up just at a moment where I was on my computer trying to find resources to help me with my struggles god is always watching over us. Nate you are an inspiration to us all 🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️congratulations 🍾
Sincerely,
Your podcast fan Millie